I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining examples of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo the very first time in an extended while, I don’t feel alone.
Element of me wanted to stay longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I will be doing this for the incorrect reason; as a way to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to fairly share wasn’t yet clear during those times; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have let you see inside. Don’t are interested troubling your brain, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I really could not consider anything that I’d stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I’d in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere with its residents’peace of mind, by just my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief has been (has been?) released.
You will find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.